Naruto's Christmas Carol
by OtakunessFanFictions
Summary: Naruto gets 12 REALLY SUCKISH Christmas presents and expresses it in song.


Anime Christmas Carols

Naruto

12 days in Konaha

(SETTING: IT IS CHRISTMAS TIME IN KONOHA. SINCE IT IS RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS, NARUTO DECIDES TO SING A SONG. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO THIS GUY WHEN THE PEOPLE HEAR HIS RANT ABOUT HOW TERRIBLE THE GIFTS HE GOT ARE?)

"On the first day of Christmas Sasuke gave to me, a letter with three words, "Please forgive me."

On the second day of Christmas, Shino gave to me two chakra bugs

And a letter, "Please forgive me."

On the third day of Christmas, Jiraya gave to me, three creepy manga,

Two Chakra Bugs,

And a letter, "Please forgive me."

On the fourth day of Christmas, Deidara gave to me, four clay birds,

Three Creepy Manga,

Two Chakra Bugs

And a letter, "Please forgive me."

On the fifth day of Christmas, Itachi gave to me, Five Akatsuki Rings,

Four clay birds,

Three creepy manga,

Two chakra bugs

And a letter, "Please forgive me."  
On the sixth day of Christmas, Kiba gave to me, Six dogs for playing,

Five Akatsuki rings,

Four clay birds,

Three creepy manga,

Two chakra bugs

And a letter, "Please forgive me."

On the seventh day of Christmas, Sakura gave to me, Seven punches for peeping,

Six dogs for playing,

Five Akatsuki rings,

Four clay birds,

Three creepy manga,

Two chakra bugs,

And a letter, "Please forgive me."

On the eighth day of Christmas, Kakashi gave to me, eight bells for ringing,

Seven punches for peeping

Six dogs for playing

Five Akatsuki Rings

Four clay birds

Three creepy manga

Two chakra bugs

And a letter, "Please forgive me."

On the ninth day of Christmas, Rock Lee gave to me, nine Might Gais dancing,

Eight bells for ringing,

Seven punches for peeping,

Six dogs for playing

Five Akatsuki rings

Four clay birds

Three creepy manga

Two chakra bugs

And a letter, "Please forgive me."

On the tenth day of Christmas, Tsunade gave to me, ten beers for drinking,

Nine Might Gais dancing

Eight bells for ringing

Seven punches for peeping

Six dogs for playing

Five Akatsuki rings

Four clay birds

Three creepy manga

Two chakra bugs

And a letter, "Please forgive me."

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Sai gave to me, eleven half tops for wearing.

Ten beers for drinking,

Nine Might Gais dancing,

Eight bells for ringing,

Seven punches for peeping,

Six dogs for playing,

Five Akatsuki Rings,

Four clay birds,

Three creepy manga,

Two chakra bugs

And a letter, "Please forgive me."

On the twelfth day for Christmas, Asuma gave to me twelve smokes for smoking

Eleven half tops for wearing

Ten beers for drinking

Nine Might Gais dancing

Eight bells for ringing

Seven punches for peeping

Six dogs for playing

Five Akatsuki rings

Four clay birds

Three creepy manga

Two chakra bugs

And a letter, "Please for give me."

Naruto finishes his song, and there is a storm of applause. He bowed and cleared his throat. "Now," he said, "I'd like to say a few things."

"Thank you, to the people who gave me these gifts, but, I'm sorry," Naruto looked at the crowd. He saw all the people besides….Sasuke. "Most of these presents were…..let's say…." –he straightened his headband- "shitty."

The crowd gasped. A ghostly figure came around. "Surely mine wasn't!" The ghost said. Oh shit! It's Asuma! "Yours actually were." Naruto said nervously laughing. The ghost glared at him and *poofed* away.

"OKAY. MY CHRISTMAS SUCKED! FIRST OF ALL, I GOT TWO CHAKRA BUGS. PRETTY COOL, BUT THEN, I GOT THREE PERVY-MANGA! WHAT THE HELL? I DON'T READ HENTAI! CREEPER! THEN, I GOT FOUR CLAY BIRDS. REALLY NICE, I LOVED THEM UNTIL—" Naruto's ranting yell was cut off by the 'woosh' of wings. "SO YA LIKED THE BIRDS, UN!" A large white bird was hovering overhead, Deidara on its back. "LOVED EM! UNTIL..I'LL TELL YA LATER." Deidara and the bird flew off.

"WELL, THEN I GOT FIVE AKATSUKI RINGS. GREAT FOR OTAKU AND COSPLAYERS! NOT FOR ME!"

Itachi looked sad and started to cry.

"OKAY, THIS REALLY SUCKED. I GOT SIX DOGS. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH SIX DOGS WHEN I LIVE IN SUCH A FRIGGEN SMALL HOUSE? YOU KNOW THOSE CHAKRA BUGS? WELL, THEY WERE EATEN BY TWO OF THE RETARDED DOGS! WHICHEVER ONE OF THOSE CHEWED THROUGH THE GAY-ASS HALF TOPS I GOT, WHICH I WHOULD NOT WEAR IN THE FIRST PLACE, I'D LOOK LIKE MELLO FROM DEATH NOTE! TRANNY ALERT!"

Kiba gasped, and Shino glared at Kiba. Sai broke down in tears.

"OKAY. GUYS, YOU CAN SIDE ON ME WITH THIS. SAKURA IS A COMPLETE BABE! YOU ALL WANNA SEE HER GET UNDRESSED, SECRETLY, SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN!"

TenTen, who was next to Neji, gasped at him and slapped him. Sakura yelled something NO ONE should EVER repeat, including Naruto, Sasuke, and Spring break last year. Naruto shrugged.

"WELL, I PEEPED." Naruto pointed at Rock Lee. "I KNOW YOU DID IT TOO! IT'S FUN!"

Lee (le *inside joke) gasped. "YOU TRAITOR!" And ran away.

"SAKURA PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE. SEVEN TIMES! IS THAT A PRESENT? I THINK NOT! THE EIGHT BELLS WERE GREAT! BUT THOSE RETARDED DEER FROM SHIKAMARU'S HOUSE STOLE THEM! I ASKED EM WHY," –Naruto put his hands by his head and made his hands look like reindeer antlers, then in a squeaky voice, continued. " 'BECAUSE WE'RE REINDEER!' WHAT IS THAT? REINDEER DON'T LIVE IN JAPAN! GITS!"

Neji shook his head. "Only the British call people 'gits'."

"OKAY. ONE MIGHT GAI IS CREEPY. NINE IS A FREAKING NIGHTMARE! I WAS SCARED SO BAD WHEN I OPENED THE SO-CALLED 'GIFT' FROM LEE! YOU RETARD! GIT! I WAS SOUNDLY SLEEPING UNTIL I THOUGHT I HEARD THE SCUMBAGS FROM JERSEY SHORE (another nightmare) ON TV, IT WAS FRICKIN' NINE MIGHT GAIS! SCARY AS HELL!" Naruto shook his fist and head.

"THEN, I GOT A HANGOVER! I'M NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK! BUT, YOUR HOKAGE TELLS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, I DID IT! I WAS STONED! THEN, IT SUCKED IN THE MORNING BECAUSE SOMEHOW, I GOT THIS!" He turned around to show the audience his arm. He lifted the sleeve to show a tattoo. It was a heart with a chibi Naruto and chibi Gaara.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"I TALKED ABOUT THE HALF TOPS. BUT, TWELVE CIGARETTES ISN'T EVEN A PACK! I DON'T SMOKE, I LEARNED FROM MATT! YOU DIE IF YOU SMOKE!" Naruto pointed to the ghostly Asuma.

"THE FIVE AKATSUKI RINGS TURNED MY HANDS GREEN! I'M PISSED!" He held his hands up to show green on his skin where the rings were.

"SO, MY CHRISTMAS SUCKED!"

"What about the letter?"

"The letter?"

"Sasuke's letter."

"Oh, that…" Naruto ran off the stage and everyone could see a piece of paper in his hand.

Neji sighed. "That Naruto loves his Sasuke."

Sakura punched him. "MY SASUKE!"

Merry Christmas! Please read our other Christmas Carols!

(~Miku and Rukia)


End file.
